high blood pressure
I'm blogging right now cos I don't think I can stuff any more info into my head. Plus I'm still a lil too riled up over an incident that happened earlier at tuition.
I actually shouted at one of my tutee. I have never done that before. And what was scary was that I really hated him at that moment. I really did. And I feel so bad about the way I shouted at him and banged my hand against the table even. I'm still shaking from the anger. But honestly I cannot take it anymore. I really feel like dropping him, I honestly do. His attitude is so.... I can't even begin to describe it. He would actually ask me when tuition will end before I even begin - talk about morale booster. And he takes 15 min to do something as simple as 45 divide by 3. When I teach, he'll doze off. But when he talks about his soccer he'll light up. But what seriously got me so fed up just now was when he decided to sleep because I refused to give him the answer for this simple question that he was stuck at. He refused to look at the question even when I tried to help him.. Talk about ultimate rudeness.
Am I that bad as a teacher? My kids at Elias Kindergarten always told me they love me and when I took MC from work they'd make me cards. They'd offer me stuff from their lunch boxes with their grubby fingers; they'd call me "mama, "mummy", "ibu" even sometimes. The nursery kids would put their heads against my lap when I enter their class - God bless their little hearts. And my sec 3 tutee and I always have good laughing sessions when I teach him. My sec 4 tutee has never argued with me, not once. So why, when I teach this lil kid, WHY do I feel like I'm such a failure at teaching?
And right now, I'm so bloody envious of people who don't need to work while schooling.
I hate the way my blog is slowly deterioriating into a complaint forum. Maybe I should stop blogging til I find something constructive to blog about.
I actually shouted at one of my tutee. I have never done that before. And what was scary was that I really hated him at that moment. I really did. And I feel so bad about the way I shouted at him and banged my hand against the table even. I'm still shaking from the anger. But honestly I cannot take it anymore. I really feel like dropping him, I honestly do. His attitude is so.... I can't even begin to describe it. He would actually ask me when tuition will end before I even begin - talk about morale booster. And he takes 15 min to do something as simple as 45 divide by 3. When I teach, he'll doze off. But when he talks about his soccer he'll light up. But what seriously got me so fed up just now was when he decided to sleep because I refused to give him the answer for this simple question that he was stuck at. He refused to look at the question even when I tried to help him.. Talk about ultimate rudeness.
Am I that bad as a teacher? My kids at Elias Kindergarten always told me they love me and when I took MC from work they'd make me cards. They'd offer me stuff from their lunch boxes with their grubby fingers; they'd call me "mama, "mummy", "ibu" even sometimes. The nursery kids would put their heads against my lap when I enter their class - God bless their little hearts. And my sec 3 tutee and I always have good laughing sessions when I teach him. My sec 4 tutee has never argued with me, not once. So why, when I teach this lil kid, WHY do I feel like I'm such a failure at teaching?
And right now, I'm so bloody envious of people who don't need to work while schooling.
I hate the way my blog is slowly deterioriating into a complaint forum. Maybe I should stop blogging til I find something constructive to blog about.
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